Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Glitz & Glamour of Motherhood

Motherhood really is the epitome of glamour. At least, Posh Spice would have you believe so. The woman wears Gucci to Coles, for Chrissake. And sometimes, I would have you believe it also.

But let me tell you, the reality can be (and is) somewhat different. I wear Cotton On to Coles, for starters. On a good day. Sometimes, I'm not even that glam!

Yes folks, motherhood aint no Vogue covergirl. Case in point. Over the weekend, the fam and I decided to take a little road trip up the mountain to buy a box of herbs to plant in the garden. A simple task, I thought.

But when we got just far enough from home that it was past the point of return, Fern did a car-poo. I knew immediately that she'd done it, and despite it being about 3 degrees and raining, I opened all the windows. Then we stopped the car. Got out in the rain. Opened the boot and deposited Fern inside. Peeled off her tights. And Oh.My.God. A blow-out of epic proportions.

Fern is 20 months old, and we're long past the point of packing auxiliary outfits. So we did the best we could. Used every wipe we had, and eventually bundled her back in the car. Naked from the waist down. Nice.

We got to the nursery. Got out of the car, and carried poor pant-less Fern inside. The baby started screaming. I went back to the car and got my nipples out. Afterward, I rested boy-o on my lap for a second while I readjusted my bra.

And then it happened. A projectile vomit. I watched it in slow motion, as it raised from my lap up and over my shoulder, depositing itself on its journey inside the neck of my shirt and inside my bra. I mean, there was that much baby-vomit inside my shirt I needed a spade to hoist it out.

And that's the reality of motherhood, really.

Tears at 2am.
And 3am.
Food all over the floor.
And the suede lounge.
Sleep deprivation.
Constant worry.

And love. Don't forget the love.

I want to tell it like it is, because there are a lot of smoke and mirrors about motherhood! People often ask me, "how do you manage to have kids AND keep a blog?" or "How do you find time for all that crafting?" or "wow, you make it all look so easy and your house is so tidy!" But its all a facade, my friends. I am a master at the art of cover up. And finicky enough to obsess about tidiness when my eyeballs are screaming for sleep and it's 10am and I havn't even had a shower yet.

And, while I love my full time job at home there are days (like yesterday!) where I find myself in a tearful heap with a newborn baby and toddler both screaming and draped over me - no idea about dinner, no milk in the fridge staring at 18 loads of washing in various states of wet/dry/dirty piled on every surface wishing to god I was anywhere else but there right at that moment.

Why am I telling you this? Because today I want to dispel the motherly myth of perfection. Nobody is perfect, my friends... but some are better at hiding it than others! And, if you ever find yourself marvelling at somebody elses life and their seeming ease at keeping it together, know that they too probably have a laundry full of dirty washing awaiting attention whilst they browse the latest online Oobi catalogue and blog their picks for the new season.

Celebrate your imperfection, dear friends -- you are not alone! xo


  1. Oh that brings back memories, I have to admit that I couldn't help but giggle, I remember pretty much the same scenario happening to me too, motherhood is uber glam sometimes isn't it... Very well said, you are so right. Megan xx

    p.s Congratulations he is adorable.

  2. Well said sweety....its the hardest job in the world I think...but the most rewarding in so many ways. It certainly changes us...and I think we surprise ourselves at just how resilient..patient...and multi skilled we are...your doing a fab job honey..forget about the house..although I know its hard..because I too am the same...but just remember...YOU run the household...dont let the house run you. Big Hugs xo

  3. Very well put Nicole! It's the hardest but the best job in the world. And the thing that is annoying is just when you think you've got a certain 'stage' all sussed and a nice little routine going - BAM it all changes again and you're back to the out of control life you'd only just managed to start controlling. I take my hat off to you for having two under two and for being so honest about it all. I think you do and are doing a great job, well done hun! Hugs, Jxx

  4. WELL SAID....AND SOOOOO TRUE...but all worth it

  5. More tears! What is with you and making me cry... hmmm, could be the combo of hormones (on my behalf) and the heart & truth you write with.

    I will never forget the moment I realised that mptherhood is no Johnson & Johnson commercial.. I had bought Izzy her first pair of bathers (she was only 3 mths old) got them home, slipped her chubby little body in them and lay on the floor with her in the air above me. Before I could see it coming, she projectile vomited IN TO MY MOUTH! Ewwww.... Took me a long time to get over that. But I laughed - and I havent stopped laughing (and crying) since!

  6. I wrote a very similar post a few weeks back. Motherhood is a hard gig. It tests you to points you never thought you could reach without going clinically insane. It's nice to know that you are not alone in it. great post.

  7. I have a secret shame to admit to...I look forward to reading all of you guys's comments ALMOST as much as I look forward to reading my sisters blog! You are all so kind and generous and open :-)

  8. Im hand in hand with you on this on right now.

  9. Brilliant post as always Nicole - your sense of humour in your posts is something I've always loved but your honesty is something I like even more. Motherhood is a tough job but as you say, oh so rewarding. Love that gorgeous pic of you and Elliott xx

  10. mmm blogger ate my comment!

    I love your honesty..I believe that motherhood is far from the likes of what Posh Becks would have us believe.

    My life is more Winnie the Pooh than Jimmy Choo.

  11. I'm so with you, Nicole. Sounds like a stock standard day in our house!

  12. Beautiful and honest... I really enjoy your writing!

  13. You're FREAKIN awesome. My favourite post of yours ever. You're right, we just do the best we can and some days, well, they're ones to be endured not enjoyed in every aspect. Luckily they're not the ones that stay with us thanks to that gorgeous thing called LOVE. Bewdiful you are, just bewdiful. x

  14. Aw what a day! It does sound sort of familiar too...

    Hope you have had lots of those super magical mummy moments that help you cope with days like that. I am sure that you have! (That photo is lovely.)

    Thanks for your congrats re Eve's arrival. She is a sweetie, and we are certainly getting less sleep! And more joy- but you know that!

  15. ohhh so well said!
    I look at newborns & miss their cuteness but then I remember what you described & the rose coloured glasses disappear.
    do you know what though, I love every bit of this mayhem called motherhood & look at my 2 beings that I helped create & smile because it is sooo worth it. vomit, poo, tantrums and all, because after all that comes the cuddles & the i love you mum.
    ahh sooo sweet.
    well done on being you!


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