Thursday, July 7, 2011

The one where I talk about - ahem - 'poo'.

Toilet training.

I mean.

Could I invert those two words and end my post right there?

Folks, I'm a strong woman. Salt of the earth, you might say. I make my own chicken schnitzel. Ride my bike up mountains. Cleanse, tone AND moisturise.

But toilet training?

It's got me beat.

Granted, I've been luke warm about the whole concept since day dot... I think I thought perhaps my daughter might just realise somewhere around 1.5... 2... 2.5... that she could ditch the nappies, adorn some knickers, climb merrily up onto the toilet seat and do her business without any fuss or commotion from her parents.

But my daughter likes nappies.

And I don't like pottys. If you'd been around me over the last 12 months you would have heard me mouthing off about how I would never be seen dead with a potty in my living room, the way you see some dreadful people do... how my daughter would learn to climb onto the toilet in an adult manner right from the start.

Nope, I'd never be seen dead with a potty at my place.


But if you'd have dropped over to my place two nights ago you would have been confronted with not only the sight of a blue, plastic potty perched glamorously in the middle of my living room but also a. large. coil. of. poo. sitting merrily half a metre away on the polished floorboards like an artistic piece of still life. And I suppose it was, really.

Toilet training.

One step forward, two steps back is the adage, isn't it?

And my daughter does manage to hit the potty some of the time. When I remember to place her on it and walk away ordering her not to get up until she's done something, she doesn't. I leave the room and come back... half an hour later... to see daughter-o wedged into that potty seat, still dedicated to the task. "I did it! I really really did it!" she proclaims afterward, and I give her accolades with gusto like she just discovered a cure for the common cold.

But for every successful aim, I'm wiping wee off the floor. Off the rug. Off the couch. The kitchen chair. .. and let's not even talk about where I find poo...

I know she'll get it one day.

I've introduced a reward chart. With stickers. And lavish drawings of the prize my daughter will be awarded once she achieves her 'performance target.'

Just this week, she eared enough stickers to get the most lauded prize of all... yes folks, my daughter peed and pood on that potty every day for two weeks to earn herself a packet of Dora the Explorer Underpants. 

$15? Are you kidding me? I've bought Calvin's cheaper than that!

But it worked. She brought them home and proudly showed them off to her dad like I'd bought her a necklace from Tiffanys.

I'll let you know how we go. And the day we finally ditch the nappies I'll have a celebration and you'll all be invited. We'll burn the potty. We'll run around with Dora the Explorer underpants on our heads. And maybe I WILL buy a Tiffanys necklace. For me, that is. Lord knows I'll deserve it!

Have YOU been through this? Got any tips? Stories? Funny anecdotes? Tales of horror? Do share!



  1. Such a horrible task really isn't it teaching little ones about the joys of the toilet :) When Grace was around 18 months, I just started getting her used to the potty by placing her on it every now and then in front of the telly (yes in the living room!!) - occasionally we'd fluke it and find a 'surprise' in there. Before she turned 2, we started adding in incentives (boy did Easter come in handy) - I focused on pretty much nothing else for a week, letting her run around bare bummed or in knickers (luckily it was warmer then) and despite many accidents (which were definitely NOT fun to deal with), within that week she was using the potty. I remember being so glad of no more pooey nappies to clean, although cleaning a potty is not all that glamorous either! With every success, I would jump around, we'd ring Daddy or Nan and a little reward was given. But, our potty only lasted 1 week and since then, I introduced the little junior toilet seat that sits on top of the normal toilet and since that initial week, Grace has only used the 'big toilet', even happy to perch on the one in our ensuite or at friend's houses without the insert. We do still have the occasional soiled nappy (I still use pull ups for her, will progress to knickers soon). I slowly fazed out the rewards although lately, we've been so busy, I think Grace has tended to forget about the toilet so I think I need to focus on it a bit more over the coming weeks. It will all happen for you eventually Nicole and then you'll be so estatic there are no more yucky nappies :) Love Fern's reward of the knickers :)

  2. Potty training. Um, I'm pretty sure I'm blocked it all out with Amy. She wasn't terrible to train for weeing, but pooing took forever. She would put a nappy on herself and go and hide to poo. I think we got her out of nappies entirely when she was around 3ish, but I should probably check my archives to make sure. Needless to say it wasn't fun and she regressed for a while and then it worked and it didn't, and ugh.

    Now my son is just about old enough and NADA. Nothing is happening, or working, so I'm ignoring it.

  3. Oh your too funny!! I had a fluro green potty, in the living room, oh the shame. It came out for a few days, then went away for a few weeks and the nappies would reappear. I couldn't handle it, and miss 2 wasn't getting it. She's a very smart girl, so by almost 3 I knew something was up. She wasn't getting the easy easy approach like they tell you in the books. One day I was so darn cranky she peed herself again I told her 'right, no more milk or Dora cartoons until you use the toilet!!'. She literally never peed herself again, and went straight to the big toilet and not the potty every single time!

  4. I just couldn't do the potty.
    I'm weak as, well, wee wees!
    We went straight to a toilet step and seat ensemble, but the mishaps pushed my buttons.
    I would have to give myself 'time out' when ablutions occurred around the house.
    My poor little man wasn't even that hard to train!
    I feel so bad that I posted that toilet training was akin to modern forms of torture and should be sanctioned by the U.N. - then he clicked with the whole thing the next day.
    So maybe tomorrow all will be contained!

  5. hehehe oh Nicole, this post really made me giggle out loud :-) Love you. Love my Niece. Glad it isn't me.


  6. Yes I am not a fan of toilet training that is for sure. One thing I will say is that I honestly believe that when a child is ready they will get it. Both my 2 were toilet trained at 3 and not a day earlier. They were so ready and as a result got night time straight away as well. I couldn't think of anything worse than months of is stressful not only for you but the kids. See how she goes but if she is not getting it sooner rather than later just give it a break for a bit. I know nappies are annoying but she will get there in the end when she is ready! Good luck!

  7. Oh yes toilet training is SO much fun! Our son got the wees pretty quickly but the poos took forever. And I did try the potty, even god forbid in the lounge room in front of the tv. But the toilet was the winner in the end.
    Stickers were our friend. One sticker for a wee, a big sticker or 2 small for a poo. When this didn't work it went to really big stickers for a poo. It took a couple of weeks but we got there in the end.


Hello - oh write me a little note - do! do! Your comments really brighten my day and its nice to know Im not alone out there in cyber space ! x